Jaws 15: Mandibular Mayhem

So like yeah. Hey everyone what's new. Nothing much. Except for requiring the increase of oxygen in my bloodstream too much. That is why we yawn right. Man have you ever yawned so big that you overextended your jaw muscle or whatever it is. Lymph node or whatnot. Whatever. And it frickin hurts for like a minute and you can't talk. You sit there, grimacing in pain silently while the world around you has no idea what event just transpired. Everyone and everything moving at slow motion, time slowing down as relativity kicks in and atoms dance in a slow murmur. Them going about their business with their own little cares, while you sit there, incapacitated, discombobulated to no avail. Getting vaclempt. But soon it shall pass. Don't call it lockjaw cuz you already got innoculated for that when you were little and it might cause all sorts of media frenzy. People around these parts call it tetanus. All we need is another outbreak of disease x.

Well anyways that said overextension happens to me like once every couple years. Yesterday in fact. I yawned me a big one actually. So big mama said don't do that again or else your face gonna git stuck like that. You know back to the jaws, I guess only snakes can dislocate their jaw to eat their little prey, not us humans. Actually not little, as they do that in order to be able to consume prey larger than themselves. Saw me a mean one on Wild America eons back, that ol' Marty Stouffer. Some big king snake swallowing a rattlesnake whole. Scary. Fascinating though. I think on that same ep there was a two headed snake. So what do you do if you're two headed? Apparently only one of the heads was used at a time or something like that. I guess you can't really talk to yourself in that way. Note to self. Self, cut that out next time. You'd never get bored on a rainy day. Riiight. Like yeah. About it for now. More important life-changing news as it happens.